


Time

by HeatherGiesbrecht



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-12 10:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 18,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3352613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherGiesbrecht/pseuds/HeatherGiesbrecht
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fandral hoped that Loki would be sane, again, in Valhalla. After what he'd done surely Loki deserved that much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time

Unable to believe what the Einherjar had just told him, Fandral stared into the sympathetic grey-eyes. He repeated, "L-Loki i-is dead ?"

 _'This can't be happening ! Thor should have_ _**protected** _ _him.'_

The Einherjar nodded solemnly, "Yes, I-I'm sorry. When I found him on Svartalfheim it was far too late, he was truly dead. As his was the only body, besides the damned things, he was protecting the others when he died."

Before the man had even finished talking he'd started crying. Weak-kneed he sank to the grass, feeling like Malekith had personally ripped his heart out and stomped it into a bloody pulp in front of his disbelieving eyes.

_'At least, h-he'll be whole mentally, again, in Valhalla. He was trying to make up to Frigga, to me, to Thor for Midgard. If Thor and Jane hadn't been there I could have had a good-bye kiss, at least. I-I'll never see him for who-knows how long.'_

Dimly, he felt a hand on his shoulder before the guard left, he wiped his eyes and got up. After falling and picking himself up he went home, on instinct his feet took him to the bedroom. The room where he and Loki had spent most nights reading to each other, telling jests or loving each other. For two years it had already been too empty, at least, when Loki had only been in the dungeon some hope had remained that Thor would free him someday. Now, now, though Loki would never come back because Thor had decided that he'd needed Loki's help.

Furious at Malekith, at Odin and Thor, he found himself throwing amethyst bedding on the floor. Belatedly, he realized he was also screaming swears at the top of his lungs and kicking the bed viciously. Quiet suddenly, he sank to the floor, wrapping the blanket around himself. _'This isn't fair, it's not fair at all ! I only had time to see him once in the dungeon.'_ He sniffled as memories of Loki from the first time they'd met to the second last entered his mind...


	2. Run

Fandral, who'd been looking at a grey-bricked shop's window, heard the sound of a sudden, sharp cry. That sound made him whirl around in shock. Through the packed crowd, carts and horses he saw a familiar sight that made him angry. After all, he'd experienced it far too many times himself. He rushed through the packed crowd and jumped over slowly moving carts to stand in front of the smaller, black-haired boy.

When he finally turned around, he glared up at the much bigger, red-headed boy. He exclaimed, "That wasn't very **nice** of you, Sandr ! What did he do to you ?"

A sneered reply from the bully, "Nothing, except getting in my way. What're you going to do...Fraidy Fandral ? I'm bigger than both of you."

_'He shouldn't just push people like that, it's rude ! Sandr the Bully needs a lesson.'_

In response, he kicked Sandr in the leg, when Sandr lunged at him he ducked. Sandr flew over his head and crashed to the cobble-stoned street. As he turned and watched Sandr get up the black-haired boy punched the red-head in the face.

He walked around Sandr to stand, again, in front of the smaller boy and found himself staring. The green and black-clad boy's skin contrasted sharply with his hair and eyes. _'Wow, I don't think I've_ _ **ever**_ _seen eyes that green before.'_

Impulsively worried, he reached out to touch the pale hand. It unclenched to reveal a palmful of cobble-stone scratches. Slowly, he looked up at the other who tilted his head slightly before staring at him in turn.

An unfamiliar voice suddenly called, " **Loki !** Brother, where are you ?"

That was when the black-haired boy jumped then responded, "Thor ! Over here."

 _'Loki ?_ _**Prince** _ _Loki ?'_

Surely, it was Thor who raced up to join them and the blond made Loki's hair look even darker. Thor glared at Sandr and demanded, "What do you think you're doing to my little brother ?! Go away !" Thor's last words puncuated by kicking.

Finally, the bully got up spat a few bloody teeth to the street and fled. Thor looked at him, asking, "Who are you ? I'm Thor !"

Unconsciously, he looked at Loki stating, "I'm Fandral. Are you all right Prince Loki ?"

Loki smoothed his hair then grinned, "I am fine. Thank-you for helping me, Fandral."

He grinned back, "You're welcome."

Thor suddenly turned and ran shouting, "Last one to the palace is a bilgesnipe !"

Both he and Loki shouted, "You're cheating !", then scrambled after the dark-blue and black clad prince. They raced through the sunny, crowded lower-city unintentionally bringing out smiles or laughter as they went.

It made him burst into laughter when Thor suddenly tripped over nothing, leaving himself racing Loki. Thor gasped, "Now...who's cheating ?", as they passed into the palace gardens. As they thundered over the biege stone path, he didn't think either of them won because they both slammed into someone.

Dizzy, he craned his neck up, awed by the towering, golden armoured man with the ravens resting on his shoulders. _'That can't be...but it has to be. It can't be anyone else !'_

Loki happily exclaimed, "Father ! Father, this is Fandral ! He helped Thor and I to deal with Sandr."

The one-eyed, whitening haired/bearded King of Asgard rumbled, "Is that so ?"

Odin crouched down to look at him, Thor's bright-blue eyes were the same as Odin's. All he could do was stare and squeak, "Y-yes, Your Majesty."

A raven cawed as the king replied, "Thank-you, young Fandral."

That was when everything went black and he opened his eyes to see Loki looking worriedly down at him. Thor leaned over Loki's shoulder, grinning, "Since you both got distracted I won the race."

Again, he and Loki stated simultaneously, "No, you **didn't**! We want a re-try."

Quickly, he scrambled out of the bed, onto the floor before the trio raced out of the room together. This time no one won because they were laughing too hard when Sandr ran away from them.


	3. Change

Since Fandral had wanted some private time an hour ago he'd gone to one of the least used places in Asgard - the public library. Sunlight filtered through the trees outside onto the dark-wooded shelves and golden walls. He sat in one of the overstuffed, black-leather chairs with a half-finished book.

There was a distantly echoing, outraged roar of, " **Loki !** ", from what sounded like...Heimdall ? _'How did he manage to pull something off on_ _ **Heimdall**_ _?'_

His heart-beat thudded in his neck as Loki's warm laughter suddenly filled the library. Loki materialized from between some book-shelves, so either he'd willed himself there or he'd used one of his illusions. In the last few years Loki's appearance had changed so much from when they'd first met three hundred years ago as children. Besides being taller, Loki's hair was down to chin-length, his cheekbones had sharpened and those eyes could change from calculating to innocent in a second.

Clad in a short-sleeved, dark-green shirt and black-pants his friend walked up to greet him with a simple, "Fandral.", and a smile.

Again for a moment, he forgot how to think because of how beautiful his name sounded in that warm, soft and smooth voice. It must have simply been another jest to Loki who ended his name in a purr that sent pleasure shivering down his spine.

When he realized that he'd nearly dropped the book, he re-gripped it. Mentally, he re-gathered himself and replied, "Loki. How did you manage to pull a prank on Heimdall ? What did you **do ?** "

Loki sat down in the chair beside him before the lithe form wriggled into a comfortable position with a deep sigh. Loki rested his chin in his hand and said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Unfortunately, you had to be there or it sounds far too outrageous to be real. So, being a reasonable man unlike the others, tell me, what are you reading ?"

That question made him repress the urge to blush and he looked away. _'Even though this is only one out of two hundred books like this - if I tell him what it is, he'll know I prefer men to women. Who's to say that he's read_ _ **this**_ _ **one**_ _? What's to say he_ _ **hasn't**_ _read this one ? Either way, I am probably going to embarrass myself.'_

He met Loki's eyes and forced himself to answer, "The Tale of the Prince Arni and Floki the Shapeshifter."

Finally, he blushed in embarrassed relief when Loki chuckled, "It is quite...entertaining...isn't it ? Though, I do hope that Mother did not pick my name because of it. Now, that would have been unfortunate."

_'Why would it ? Floki's smart, caring and gorgeous and you're the same.'_

"Yes, it is and that would indeed be worrisome. What do you think of the book ? I merely ask because well what with you're being a shapeshifter, it's easier for you to understand the book than myself."

A pale-hand raised and reached over to slowly trace his cheekbone, the movement made him half-turn to see that Loki had leaned closer. It startled him to see a dream become real the pale-pink lips inches away and those emerald-eyes further darkened with desire. The next words that left those lips were pure seduction, " **Tonight** , Fandral, let me... **show** you. Oh, how long I have wanted to."

Under his, compared to the library's quiet, over loud gasp he heard the book hit the floor with an echoing thwock-boom. A continued tease, "Is that a yes ?"

Struck dumb, he nodded and clenched his thighs tightly as anticipation and arousal swept through him. Why did it have to wait ? He wanted Loki now. One thing he was sure of...it would be worth it.


	4. Bolt

Fandral thrust his foil into the purple and black-clad Vanir bandit's chest and pulled it out. Pity filled him as the body started falling to the grass, he wondered how the bandit had ended up here. A female bandit, who'd apparently stood behind the old man, suddenly fired a cross-bow at him. The bolt penetrated his silver shoulder-plates and entered his chest. Sharp pain flared as he fell to the grass. The towering trees of Vanaheim blurred light and shadow while the woman suddenly leaned over him.

Something flashed in the light and buried itself in the woman's throat - one of Loki's silver-throwing knives embued with emerald-fire - before the fire consumed her screaming body. He moved his head as the cross-bow's cord burnt through and the bolt fired, said bolt buried itself two inches from his head. _'That was almost too close for comfort.'_

Worriedly, Loki called, " **Fandral !** Fandral, speak !"

_'Ah, that does sound beautiful doesn't it ? Ouch.'_

Dazed, he responded with a pained rasp of, "Lo-ki !"

The long-coat clad Loki rushed to crouch over him. It was really the stupidest time to get distracted by his love's beauty. Of course, he did anyway as a pale-hand rested on his chest, the chin-length black-hair falling into panicked emerald-green eyes.

Loki exclaimed, "I don't have any more healing stones !"

Now, himself, he hadn't brought any with him because he hadn't thought he'd get hurt.

As he went to warn Loki about the bandit that he just noticed was rushing at them, Mjolnir slammed into the bandit's head. More pain rushed from his upper chest into his side causing him to hiss.

Thor, chuckled, "Laying down, Fandral, what are you bored already ?" Before Thor was summoning the hammer back to his hand.

The younger prince replied, "He's wounded, do you have a stone ? I used my last on the child."

Thor shouted back, "No, I don't ! Sif ? Do you have one ?"

He ignored the pain and Loki's hand to try pushing himself up, half-turning to see the black-haired woman decapitating a bandit. Sif reached into a belt-pouch, took out a stone and threw it to Loki who caught it. Thirty feet behind Sif, Hogun and Volstagg were guarding the house the bandits had been robbing when they'd arrived.

**Flashback**

The Bifrost disappeared revealing a tiny, dark-stone and polar-wood house a few feet in front of them. A Vanir with ragged, short black-hair in ripped silver clothes stood at the door. Said Vanir let out a cry of, "Asgardians !", before a non-flaming throwing-knife and Mjolnir flew at the man, Mjolnir sinking the knife deeper into the man's chest.

Two more bandits raced out of the house, Hogun armed with his mace and Volstagg with his axe met them, they didn't stand a chance. He and Loki raced into the house as energy-blasts and arrows/cross-bow bolts zipping past them. The entrance was dark except for a small fire in a hearth.

A little girl of about two years, her purple and gold clothes stained with blood lay on the floor. The girls terrified looking parents looked wary/relieved to see them. Said girl's mother asked, "Can you help her ?"

Loki his black-leather, green and gold accented long-coat flaring strode to crouch beside the girl. The golden-mail skirted shirt shining as Loki pulled out a healing stone from a pouch. Dark-blue energy flashed when his love crushed the stone, the girl's wound and her clothes also would be repaired.

Sif called from outside, "Are you done hiding, boys ? There are still some bandits left if you want them."

On that note, he turned and ran back outside looking for any it seemed the bandits were fleeing. He unsheathed his sword and ran after one - a greying man - that was heading towards the clearing's edge back into the forests. When the man spotted him he stopped running and turned pulling out a gun. So, he ended up if not just dodging the energy blasts deflecting them with his sword. The bandit's gun went flying after he slapped the man's hand with the foil's flat side.

**End Flashback**

When Loki teased, "Are you ready, Fandral ? This will hurt.", his love's hand wrapped around the cross-bow bolt's shaft preparing to pull it out.

Involuntarily, he smiled then quipped, "This is only temporairy, I can handle it, Loki. After all, it's not going to hurt for days."

That caused a fleeting smile to cross Loki's face and a chuckle, before those eyes went serious again. When he steeled himself by saying, "One, tw- **aaragh !** ", he didn't even finish two before it was swiftly ripped out. In response, he mock-hissed, "If His Highness weren't His Highness I would punch him in his too pretty face."

Loki, eyebrows raised and looking utterly innocent, gave the mock-outraged reply, "Punch **me**? Only if you kiss it better. On the other hand, how utterly uncivil of you, Fandral...I love it."

As he countered with, "Well, you had better or I'm killing that maid you're hiding somewhere." Loki crushed the rock over the wound.

"Hiding a maid ? Why, I never ! I mean look at all those maids you've bedded, Fandral. Truly, it must be some record."

"Those weren't maids and you know it."

They both burst into laughter and Loki helped him up holding onto his hand a second longer than normal. Quickly, he caught up with their friends to find something else to do on Vanaheim. Like maybe finding another 'maid' and taking a few hours to himself.


	5. Health

Slowly, Fandral walked from beside the black-stone, torch-lit dungeon wall to stand in front of Loki's cell. _'How do they light the cells ? There are no torches inside for obvious reasons, is it some magic then ? It must be, just like the cell barriers. What would happen if he tried to leave ? Wait, I **never** want to find out.'_

The glowing white-walls were as plain as the other cells, but unlike those Loki's had furnishings - a small, dark-wood table stacked with books and a few feet away a low, flat-framed bed with a white matress - provided by his adopted mother Frigga. It was hard to believe that his love could be a frost-giant as Loki didn't look like one - he was still as pale-skinned and green-eyed as ever.

Loki lay on the bed just staring at the ceiling, not even noticing him. That worried him because it reminded him of Thor's warning.

**Flashback**

For a second, Loki stopped and stared back at him, the silver muzzle flashing in the sunlight. The second was broken when the team of Einherjar **jerked** the chains and dragged his love away.

Beside him, Thor shook his head and stated, "Loki is not as we once knew him, Fandral. Something in his mind...he went mad and murdered eighty defenseless people ! You should stay away from him, it would only frighten you to see how he's changed."

He noticed the anger-tinged sadness in Thor's eyes which in turn angered him. "The Crown Prince does **not** know what frightens me ! It is partially your own fault that he ended up letting go or whatever actually happened that night !"

The other blond twisted the Tesseract around in his grip. Without answering his second oldest childhood friend walked after Loki and the Einherjar. In need of some answers quick answers, he spun on his heel to look at Heimdall.

Dark-skinned, dark-golden eyed and golden-armoured Heimdall responded, "Thor is right, Fandral. There is something wrong with Loki, something in his mind has become twisted through the horrid tortures he faced, but there is yet still some sanity left within him. If he is lucky, someday soon, Loki may be able to piece himself together again. Know though, that he may also be so broken that it can not be repaired while he still lives. It pains me to see how much he has changed from when you three were young - back then he had no will for murder or genocide, only simple jests and tricks."

An unbidden smile came to his lips as he remembered the last seven hundred some years, the last four hundred of which had no equal for him. Since he didn't know how long Loki's trial would take, he went back to the house and further straightened the bookshelves for a few hours.

**End Flashback**

He walked up to stand in front of the currently invisible barrier and shifted his weight causing his clothes to rustle. The soft sound made Loki bolt upright. Briefly, his love did frighten him because it was not the Loki he knew that looked back at him. Instead it was like an animal mindless with terror and despair, haunted by unfathomable pain that just happened to look like his love staring **through** him.

A second later, the black-haired head shook itself, recognition flooded in and Loki whispered in disbelief, "Fandral ? No, no, it can't be you. You always sound like him, then you'll disappear...you always do and then it starts all over again. Always...it never really stops, it's just another of his tricks. Oh, irony of ironies. Even if it was you, what use would I be ? Terrified that everything's an illusion, too hopeless, but too stubborn to die...it wouldn't change anything. It's useless, useless, useless." Loki just kept repeating, "Useless." like some kind of chant.

How utterly hopeless and broken Loki sounded, it wasn't right, at all. _'What sort of torture wou-_ _ **did**_ _it take to break him ? He's never physically been the strongest around, but he's always had the most confidence or he used to. How could someone be so cruel, who could do this, who would want to do this to someone ?'_

Unable to stay still after hearing that, he rushed through the barrier and up to his love. Without a thought, he sat beside Loki and stroked the pale cheek. Then he whispered in return, "I'm here, love, I'm not going to disappear. Believe me, I'm **right here** , **I love you** , you're not useless and you're **safe**."

Loki tilted his head, leaning into his hand, those lashes fluttering as tears fell. Unconsciously, he pulled Loki against his side, stroking the black-hair gently and waited for the shuddering, sobbing and, eventually, sniffling to stop.

Just when he thought Loki had fallen asleep there was another whisper, "I'm so sorry, I didn't want to kill them. I kept screaming at myself not to do it a-and I wouldn't listen. He only 'needed' to kill five and he kept making me because he knew I'd hate myself. In the beginning he'd let me try to save them, t-then he'd take over and the things...the things. He'd do the most horrible, disgusting and depraved things that you couldn't hope to imagine in the worst of your worst nightmares. He reveled in the pain and terror no matter who's it was mine or theirs he's a Norns damned monster. Thor should have killed me, Fandral, it would have been a relief. I'm not even sane no matter that I sound it, too broken, useless."

Loki was going to start another chant he could tell, so instead he lifted the pale-chin gently and pressed a light-kiss to those lips. Before he grasped what was happening Loki had deepened the kiss as desperate, trembling hands pulled at his clothes. When he realized what Loki was trying to do he broke the kiss and said, "Loki, this can't be healthy for you."

Eyes still red-rimmed, tear-tracks glistening in the sourceless light, trembling even more and now frustrated, Loki cried, "I don't care ! Please, Fandral."

Slowly, he shook his head, "Loki, listen, this won't change anything. You don't need sex to get better, you'd become addicted to the pleasure or something instead of realizing that it wasn't your fault. You need to sleep, you'll feel better then."

"I can't sleep, he's there, everywhere. I'll never get to sleep."

He lay down on the bed, gently pulling Loki with him. Firmly, he stated, "I'll stay until you do. I probably won't be here when you wake up, but I swear I'll come back when I have the opportunity and energy."

Loki murmured, "Well, you had better." before cuddling up and immediately falling asleep. Hours later, he looked back over his shoulder at Loki's still peacefully sleeping form. Reluctantly, he left with a single thought in his mind, _'I'll come visit, again, I swear !'_


	6. Tree

As the memories stopped Fandral laid his head on his knees and stared at the blanket. If Thor hadn't insisted on the crusade and then dragging him to celebrations he'd refused to go to...he could have visited Loki. Except, he'd gotten so tired of Thor's telling him not to see Loki again that he'd just wanted Thor to shut the Hel up. It only cemented his thoughts that Thor utterly blamed Loki and thus refused to let him be somewhat happy. Simply because they hadn't agreed when Odin had been in the wrong. In the end, it shouldn't have mattered because Loki had, doubtlessly, needed him sometimes.

 _'Loki spent two whole_ _**years** _ _waiting, hoping for me to show up again and I never did. What if he thought I stopped caring ? After all, he didn't react when I brought up that quip from when we went apple-picking. That tree must have hated him for picking its apples. I mean, what other reason would a thick branch like that have to break without warning ? Oh, wait, Loki was a lot heavier than he looked what with his being a jotun. Unless, the tree hated him...or both.'_

His words then echoed in his mind, "I see you're no less graceful at falling out of trees than you are at everything else." It brought a brief smile when he remember that after those words, Loki had thrown an apple at him which he'd caught and ate while Loki had grumbled good-naturedly. They'd taken a liking to apples, but, of course, he hadn't had the energy or will power to get any in the last two years.

He unwrapped himself from the blanket, then got up and made the bed before storming out. To **Hel** with Thor ! His love was dead and he'd go to pick apples if he wanted to damn it. When he arrived at the orchard, purposely as near to sunset as he could, he was drawn to the tree that Loki had fallen out of. _'How many times did we sit under here to watch the sunset and the stars come out ? So many that I literally lost count after the two hundreth time and now, never again. Why did this have to happen ?'_

Slowly, he climbed up the tree, lay on a branch and picked one of the golden apples. A moment passed as he stared at the apple. Melancholily, Fandral whispered, "This is for you, Loki." and took a deep bite as the sun died. The stars emerged as he took his time, focusing on eating, it was a welcome distraction from his unwanted thoughts. By the time he'd finished the night was cool, he wondered if the cloaks Loki had hidden near-by were still here.

Moonlight and shadow blurred as he slid down the tree trunk and walked three trees over. Well, he started to, he stopped when he saw a shallow hole and realized that he still held the apple's core. It took but a minute to bury the core and then he continued on. Since he didn't know magic he had no idea how Loki had made it so only they could touch the hollow. Nervous, he reached through the 'solid' trunk and into the hollow before pulling out a large, flat silver-box, inlaid on top was a sapphire foil and an emerald stag.

**Flashback**

The box made him stare, he looked up at Loki in surprise. Loki's hand twitched as it rubbed his left forearm and the pale man was obviously wondering if he'd overstepped. The box clinked as he put it down on the table. Moonlight from the window over his shoulder made the box glow against the light-wooded table and dark, apple-wood walls.

So, he tried to reassure Loki, "Thank-you, love, it's beautiful. When did you have it commissioned ?"

A faint smile and a chuckle in response, then Loki said, "Would you believe that I first commissioned it a year ago ? I wasn't happy with the quality of the first two, I wanted it to be perfect."

It made him wonder, "What are we going to put in it ?"

"Well, in the last few months we have gone to the orchard quite a bit and it is getting close to winter."

When Loki unpinned his cloak, they said simultaneously, "We put the cloaks in a box, then the box in a tree."

Loki continued the rhyme, "Yet, what if a fox gets in the tree and so steals the box ?"

He blanked, "Uh." then he tried, "Kick a tussock then find the fox ?"

Loki's eyes gleamed as he boisteriously exclaimed, "Oh, let him get the **pox** , then we'll steal the box back from that too sly fox !"

_'Norns, he's so much better at rhymming than I am. Yet, for some reason he says he's not.'_

**End Flashback**

After he crouched and laid the black-silk lined box on a root, he hesitated before opening it. Still, despite not being opened for three years the box flipped open smoothly. Nestled inside was one of his dark-blue, deer-fur lined, winter cloaks and beside it Loki's emerald one. Not surprisingly he picked up Loki's and swung it over his shoulders. The golden stag brooch he'd given Loki as a gift gleamed as he pinned it closed, very faintly a whiff of saffron - earthy, spicy-sweet and piercing - clung to the cloak.

Moments later, he closed the box and put it back in the tree. Beautiful as the night was he hurried home, carefully hung up the cloak on the wall then undressed and got into bed. Sometime after, half-asleep, a memory played with his mind and what felt like a hand caressed his shoulder before Loki murmured, "Go to sleep, Fandral. It was just a simple nightmare."

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Well, whatever can I do ?"

"Sing for me ?"

Phantom echoes of silvery melodies lulled him into a deeper sleep.


	7. Otr

A snowball slammed into Fandral's face and he gasped wiping the snow away with a half-frozen, rabbit-fur glove. Feet away Thor was laughing like mad, at least, until Loki threw his own snowball into Thor's face. The other twelve years old blond mirrored his own gesture. Loki turned to grin at him, Loki was the only one whose face wasn't reddened from the cold.

While he shivered, he chattered, "M-maybe w-we should g-go ins-side."

Disappointment flitted across both princes faces simultaneously, their reaction made him burst into laughter. They started back toward the palace and kitchens and they started moving closer together as darkness crept in to surround them. Between one blink and the next they had grown-up, but Thor had disappeared. In that same moment, he panicked as a Dark Elf's hand wrapped around Loki's throat and the other rested over Loki's chest.

It already horrified him when there was a series of sharp, sickening cracks from Loki's ribs. Nothing could express his feelings when Malekith ripped Loki's heart out and **bit into it !** Except that it only worsened when Malekith proffered it to him after throwing Loki's body down.

A sarcastic, "Oh, I'm sorry, did **you** want some ? Spine, guts, maybe ? Nothing ? Hmm, well, more for me then." leaving the Dark Elf's lips.

Seconds after he woke up, he rolled over as apple-flavoured bile clawed its way up his throat and onto the floor. _'Oh, oh, Norns...what sort of Hel-damned nightmare was that ?'_

Dimly remembered disgust and horror faded with his dry heaves. After he wiped his mouth, he shakily went into the kitchen/dining room and poured some water from a pitcher into a mug to rinse his mouth then spat it into a near-by basin. Just after he'd cleaned up the mess there was a knock on the door.

Panicked, he pulled on a pair of clean, dark-grey pants before rushing to open the door. Realistically, he expected it to be either Volstagg or Hogun, maybe Sif, but not the Einherjar from yesterday evening.

Well, the Einherjar wasn't wearing his armour instead he was wearing a biege shirt and charcol-colored pants. Confused, he wondered, _'What's he doing here ? Don't tell me Odin sent him to check on me. Name, name. What is his name, damn it ?! I know he said it, but what it is it ? Argh.'_

Suddenly the Einherjar said, "Otr, my name is Otr."

That made blush and he quickly apologized to which Otr replied, "I don't blame you for forgetting my name. No sane person would after your reaction to my news." Otr's eyes slid over him before the shoulder-length, wavy brown-haired man frowned. "Forgive my bluntness, but you look even worse than when I last saw you. Would you wish me to ask for Healer Eir to see you ?"

He sighed, "No, thank-you, but no, Otr, Eir can't heal a broken heart."

"I know what you mean."

"Who did you lose ?"

Otr's eyes squeezed shut as a pained look crossed his face. Otr opened his eyes, then falteringly answered, "My mother, I-I was an idiot. I thought I could keep them away from her...I led them right to her instead. It's my fault that damned Dark Elf killed her."

_'Oh, oh, that's horrible. I, well, at least, I just lost my love and not my mother. Yes, I'm already dealing horribly with losing Loki, but it would be even worse if it was Mother. I can't imagine what he's going through. Was Loki's last thought wishing he could have helped Frigga ?'_

Maybe it was because he'd just lost Loki, but he hugged Otr. "I'm sorry." Then his breath caught and his heart ached as he smelled fresh saffron. _'I-it's not his fault that he uses it too. There are probably plenty of people who use it and I just didn't notice until Loki wasn't around. I don't like that he's gone and I'm going to be seeing, hearing and smelling him everywhere because of it.'_

Quickly, before he could start crying again, he let go and moved away. As he realized that they had stood outside for a few minutes he was appalled by his lack of hospitality. That promted him to say, "Come in, come in. Have you had anything to eat yet ?"

The reason he asked was that he really didn't want to go to the banquet hall. With a brief smile of thanks Otr stated, "No, but I don't really feel like eating this morning. I'm sure you can understand."

To be honest after yesterday's news and his earlier...disgorging, he didn't feel like eating either, so, he nodded and moved to the side. After Otr entered and took off his boots, he followed his guest and closed the door. For the first time he noticed the fire place...it confused him. _'Why is the fire still going ? I didn't put any new wood on before I went to bed it should be long cold by now.'_

Dimly, the feeling of Loki's hand on his shoulder and the melody came back. Unless Loki had the misfortune to become a ghost it wasn't possible. Even though Loki wouldn't hurt him just the thought of his being a ghost was terrifying. With the people who had died yesterday after being trapped somewhere, surely Odin would want to have the funerals as soon as possible so they would be at peace.

Otr sat at the table with his back to the hearth facing the towards the entrance. Briefly irrational hatred filled him because that was Loki's spot, Verdandi damn it, Loki's. All of it made him wish that Urd, Norn of the Past, had never let it happen, but that would mean that it was really Skuld, Norn of Futures, fault. Thus leaving the only one to blame Verdandi, Norn of the Present. Then he felt guilty because there was no way that Otr would know that it had belonged to Loki. He took his spot, wondering again why Otr had come to visit him.


	8. Kettle

Restless, Fandral asked, "Otr, would you want some water, tea, maybe ?" while getting up from the table and walking over to the counter. Leaf shadows would be flitting over the table as a wind suddenly howled outside before dying. _'At least, it would give me something to do. I want tea...tea is good. It always helped with those rough patches Loki and I had. Norns, arguing over if a second edition Snorri Fenson was real or fake that was so_ _ **stupid**_ _. Yet a while later, we solved it over mint and raspberry tea then threw the fake in the fire.'_

Otr replied, "I can assure you that I do much better at water than tea. Such an affinity, yet I'm without a clue how I ever came about it." The Einherjar shook his head then smiled ruefully, "Aie, that was terrible, I'm sorry."

' _Well, let me do one worse than him then. If only so he doesn't feel that bad.'_

He countered, "Really ? What otter you say, it's better than mine." as he got out a mug, grabbed the pitcher to fill the cup then turned to walk and give it to Otr. For himself, he moved back to get a kettle out of a wall-niche along with a packet of tea herbs that Hogun had given him weeks ago. After he filled the kettle with the rest of the water, he hung it over the fire place.

His response got a dry chuckle from Otr, "Now that was **truly** terrible. By your reaction yesterday, I'm sure that he loved you for more than your humour or I should hope so."

As he stared into the crackling fire he winced, he'd never tell another terrible joke and hear Loki laugh because it was so terrible it was actually funny, again.

With a sigh, he stated, "Loki did, he really did. One thing always annoyed me though, since he was so used to taking the blame for Thor sometimes he'd apologize for things that weren't his fault. I don't get how Odin could just throw Loki into the dungeon and ban Queen Frigga from seeing him. Yes, Loki wanted to destroy Jotunheim, but it was Odin who warped him into think it was an acceptable way to go about it instead of being able to tell His Majesty how he really felt. Loki was always under so much pressure when he wasn't with myself or the queen, Otr. If His Majesty had just been more open none of this would have happened. Your mother would still be alive, but instead we have to have three weeks of funeral feasts and hundreds of funerals because of something that could have been so easily avoided."

Slowly, he turned to look at Otr who had twisted to look at him. The Einherjar looked rather shocked by what he'd just learned. Otr wondered suddenly, "Did you know Fandral that C-Prince Thor has left Asgard ?"

His gaze drifted to the emerald cloak and the bookshelves beside the hanging rack. Angry, he shouted, "Thor, did **what**?! The last years, I started to dislike him, yes, but how could he leave **now** ? Loki and Frigga are **dead** because of him and that girl. Odin became half-mad with grief and revenge because of the Dark Elves. Now, all of Asgard is ruined if not physically than emotionally !"

 _'What of Thor's swearing to protect Loki ? Now, I find it meant_ _**nothing** _ _to him. Two hundred years after that we swore our oaths to protect Asgard. Well, I suppose that he finally forgot that as well. Even more than myself for going along with his damned plan, he's a traitorous bastard.'_

Otr murmured, "Odin, at least, seems to have regained himself. When he was informed of Loki's death and of Thor's intent to leave Asgard he nearly entered another Odinsleep." The brown-haired Einherjar took a sip of his water then continued, "There are no princes left and our king is barely strong enough to keep chaos from breaking out, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. If I could have reached Svartalfheim sooner perhaps I might have found someway to save Loki. I just wonder...if he had the chance did Thor stay after Loki was impaled ?"

Again, nearly in tears for the second time in Verdandi only knew how many minutes, he turned to look at the fire place. To glare at the kettle if only to keep his tears at bay. _'At least, if Loki were still alive there would be some sense of_ _ **consistency**_ _.'_

**Flashback**

"They need a sense of consistency."

He blinked up at Loki, noticing that those green-eyes looked nervous from under the golden horned helmet. Somehow he was resisting the urge to frown because he knew how unhappy his love probably was. It was even harder not to go up and make a terrible joke about pretty, powerful stags not needing thrones, much less pretty powerful ones.

Distantly, he heard himself say something in response and for a moment it seemed like Loki would almost smile in relief. Slowly, he rose from his kneeling position, then turned before he walked away.

**End Flashback**

_'Norns damn it ! Why did I have to remember that ? Why do I have to have memories at all ? Wait, what did he just say ?'_

In horror, he turned from the red-bricked fire-place to look at Otr. Then he echoed, "I-impaled ? Oh surruptitious Skuld. Otr, do you know how long that would take ?" Anger crept into his tone. "How could Thor let their brotherhood die so quickly ? If he were able to, but didn't I'm going to **kill** him !"

Otr put the cup down and got up to start walking slowly towards him. Memories flashed through his mind of all the times that Loki had done the same whether for a simple embrace, kiss or heart-felt apology.

With a simple tone Otr asked, "Is that what Loki would want you to do, Fandral ?"

Shame rushed through him because no Loki wouldn't have wanted that. Somehow likely because he didn't know how Thor had acted while he was gone, on the skiff he'd seen that Loki still thought of Thor as his big brother. Yet, Thor himself had thrown that love and loyalty away without even asking Loki himself about it.

Moments passed before he answered, "No, no, he wouldn't. It's just Loki do- **didn't** even know that Thor treated him like dirt while he was in the dungeon. Thor forced me break my last promise to Loki - I said I was going to visit him again and I never did. H-he probably thought I hated him when he died. I wouldn't blame him, I would if I was him."

Some warm emotion flitted through Otr's grey-eyes and the Einherjar shook his head. Otr gently disagreed, "Again, forgive me for presuming, but I don't think he would."

It startled both of them, and he jumped, when the kettle suddenly whistled.


	9. Elder

An hour had passed since Fandral and Otr had had tea and water. Now, they were in one of the newly unblocked parts of the nearly unrecgonizable lower city. More specifically, they were moving giant chunks of fallen grey-brick walls and thick wooden beams from in front of a store's door. With a grunt they threw one of the other stores splintered half-beams onto one of the many swiftly growing debris piles. A ways down the street Volstagg, Hogun and Sif were doing the same though they hadn't approached him. This was a good distraction because he didn't want to deal with his friends yet. For a second, he stopped as a cloud covered the sun and scraped his hair off his forehead.

There was a desperate shout of, " **Fandral !** " and he turned just in time to catch his mother. As he bent slightly to actually hug her she pressed her face into his shoulder. "Oh, oh thank the Norns you're all **right**! When you didn't show up last night, you had me so worried my little Fan."

If it were any other time he would have been incredibly embarrassed to hear, "Little Fan." in public. As it was, he didn't care, he was just glad she was alive too. _'Show ? Oh, valiant Verdandi ! I completely forgot I promised to visit her and Father.'_

It was calming to inhale the lavender oil she always used when she went out, to see her dark-blond hair pulled into a low tail and wearing the dark-silver and light-cobalt necklace; besides that she wore a darker-blue dress. For the first time since yesterday, he felt grounded in reality instead of trapped in a living nightmare. _'She wore that necklace and dress the first time I took Loki to our house.'_

**Flashback**

He and Loki both soaked from the pouring rain burst into the large, dark-apple wood house before slamming the door closed. Mother called, "You're late, little Fan."

As Loki stared then grinned at him, he blushed in embarrassment and replied, " **Mother !** We have a guest."

Mother apolgized while they threw off their cloak hoods and he still wasn't used to Loki's baldness. Since it had been Loki's seventh birth-day a week ago, like all male children of that age his hair had been shorn. After Loki's hair finally started to grow back until he was three hundred years old his youngest friend would be an adolescent. It excited him because his own birth-day was in a few days then Loki wouldn't feel so odd because he still had his hair and Thor had already grown quite a bit of his hair back.

Then he and Loki hung up their cloaks on the lower wall rack before turning into the main hall and walking to sit on the bear-skin rug in front of the lit fire place. Mother, a few feet away in the kitchen, was pouring what smelled like hot apple cider into some clay mugs.

Mother turned holding two of the mugs then seeing Loki gasped, "Oh, oh my ! Please accept my most humble apologies, My Prince, it is an honour to have you in our home. I am Lady Daell."

Now it was Loki's turn to blush and the prince said, "It is my pleasure to be here, O Lady of Gentleness. Truly you live up to your name with all that Fandral says of you. Even were it not according to Mother you did manage to captivate and gentle Lord Ari the Great-beard."

With a smile Mother chuckled, "Well, if My Prince isn't a charmer than I know not who is." Slowly, Mother walked around the table and over to them and they accepted the steaming mugs. "Did either of you want honeyed oatcakes ? I made some fresh this morn and Fandral ate almost a whole batch by himself the last time, then his father finished the rest."

While he took a sip of his drink the warmth chasing away the rain's chill, Loki replied with a yes to Mother's question. It almost surprised him when Loki split the oatcake with him because Thor wouldn't have thought of it.

**End Flashback**

He blinked the memory away and replied, "I am sorry, Mother...it's just...last night, Loki. H-he-"

"Oh, oh, honey, I-I'm sorry. He was such a nice boy, he always said the nicest things and had the sweetest gifts for you. When I-I visited him a few days ago h-he said t-to tell you that he loved you still." Mother's grip on him tightened as she broke into a sob at the end. All he felt was a brief weightlessness as it echoed in his head, then it was almost crushed by grief.

Father demanded, "What ? How ?" prompting him to look up. Father looked shocked and he absently stroked his great hip-length, silver-beard. Like always Father's beard was tucked into his bronze belt thusly covering most of his brown-shirt and grey pants.

A few feet away, Otr cleared his throat, "Your pardon, Lord Davlinnson, but he was impaled by a Dark Elf on Svartalfheim."

"Thank-you, Einherjar Otr. Do yourself and Fandral need some help ?"

"All that we can get."

Reluctantly, he let go of Mother then all of them finished moving debris away. The first thing he saw was the door laying on the floor as sunlight streamed in through the broken ceiling onto knocked over shelves. Mother rushed past him, around the counter to alarmedly exclaim, "Elder Taufin ! Sinn, Sinn, we need to get him to the healing room, quickly."

Father rushed forward as well, then they picked up the oldest Asgardian anyone alive knew. Taufin was eighteen thousand years old, so old that his healing abilities had nearly stopped working. In the last years Taufin had become slightly forgetful, blind, nearly deaf and had many joint problems. Despite that, he'd never missed a day of work since before King Bor was alive. Loki and himself had always gone to buy something, visit and/or help Taufin who would tell them of the battle with the Dark Elves in exchange.

**Flashback**

The brown-eyed, white-haired elder squinted at him and Loki before breaking into a great smile. Taufin greeted, "Hello, Prince Loki, young Fandral."

Simultaneous, "Hello, Elder Taufin."

Taufin nodded, then started rambling, "Did I ever tell His Princeship how much he looks like Queen Lopt ? Aye, that you do it's that hair and eyes you mark my words. Her Majesty Air and His Princeship Closeness such pretty names and nice personalities too."

While he pulled a stack of books out of Taufin's arms and went to put them away, Loki replied, "Perhaps once else you did I think. What about Fandral and old Fangrim ?"

So, there was a steady stream of chatter as the three of them worked and some people wandered through. Both he and Loki eventually ended up working on the same shelf and so intent on it that they slammed into each other. They traded confused and amused looks. It suddenly felt like his heart was beating too fast.

Taufin called for them to stop then, after they went up to the counter they snacked on barley bread and mead while Taufin started talking. "Aye, I remember that Malekith and I only saw him for a second. Nasty sort, he'd probably have killed his own mother if it got him something. Hel, he killed most of his own people without a care so that he could escape the coward. The Svartalfar were far worse than the frost-giants no matter what some say. I hope he's freezing in Hel right now, it's all he deserves. Anyway, take a look around, you boys deserve a gift for helping me so much."

He protested, "Taufin, no. I don't have any money with."

"You've been helping me for three months without my paying you. You deserve a free present."

Loki put a hand on his wrist, then said, "Compromise, I'll pay for Fandral's and take mine for free."

It confused him when Taufin started chuckling. "Well, I can't argue with that."

As himself and Loki shared looks, the elder just kept on laughing.

**End Flashback**

When Father and Mother went to bring Taufin past him, the old man put a hand on his arm. Taufin was bleeding from a long cut across his stomach, the bottom of his shirt completely soaked.

The old man asked, "Fandral, is Loki somewhere about here ?" It felt as if the cloudy, brown-eyes were looking right through him as they cast about.

It suddenly felt far too hard to breathe and he couldn't force an answer out. Across from him, Otr mouthed, "Forgive me." Seconds later, Otr said in a perfect imitation of Loki's voice, "I'm here, Taufin, what do you need ?"

Mother and Father shared shocked looks with him. _'I don't remember Loki saying that he'd run into Otr before...maybe, maybe they met while he was in the dungeons. Maybe he's just an acquaintance or not even that. That or he's just really good at impressions...like Loki, except Loki had his shapeshifting to help out.'_

Taufin murmured 'looking' between himself and Otr, "You two take care of each other, just like my Drofn and I did. Maybe I'll get to see her now, heh, death 'n no bilgesnipes in sight. She always said it'd be one of those stinking things, I'd prefer it to death by Dark Elf."

He stared worriedly after his family and the elder as they moved away. In his own voice Otr said, "Again, please forgive me. I think it would have broken him to know the truth. I met him once or twice. Now, I should go inform His Majesty of Taufin's injuries for it shall be an even sadder time if he is to die...the end of an age almost."

The Einherjar skirted around Sif, Hogun and Volstagg as his friends approached. How he wished he knew what Skuld had planned for the conversation to come.


	10. Mad

A swift breeze uncovered the sun as Fandral looked over Sif's brown and black clad self. His only female friend's hair was up in a high tail and her sword was in easy reach. Uncomfortable that she didn't look at all sad that so many people had gone to Valhalla. At least, Hogun and Volstagg looked as uncomfortable as he did.

It made him more uncomfortable, and irrationally angry, as Sif asked, "Where did you go after we were released ?"

Almost he reached for his foil as those angry thoughts surfaced. _'Where does she_ _ **think**_ _I would go ? To a drinking hall ? How_ _ **stupid**_ _has she become !'_

He clenched his fists and tried to suppress the anger. Half-calmly, but still annoyed he said, " **I** wasn't captured ! I **willingly** went to check on you and put myself to His Majesty's mercy. After he let us go, I left the throne room and started going to the Bifrost to see if Thor, Jane a-and Loki had come back. Instead, Einherjar Otr, who came from there, intercepted me. H-he told me that Loki was dead and then I assume he went to tell His Majesty the same while I went home."

Hogun actually looked shocked, "He...is dead...for real ? I find that hard to believe, unless we can see his body."

Volstagg briefly clapped a hand on the black-haired and bearded Vanir's shoulder. "Those Dark Elves could kill anyone, Hogun, even Loki. Well at the least he looked far saner yesterday than when I visited him."

Flabbergasted, he questioned, "You...when did you go see him, Volstagg ? Why was Thor not nagging you to stay away from him ? He never stopped with me." Softer, "How was he then ?"

The red and brown clad man hummed for a second. "It was...uh, about maybe a month or two ago. Hnn, I'd say Thor didn't complain about my doing it because I wasn't in love with Loki. I'd say Thor was over-reacting because you two didn't tell him until you'd been together quite a while. As for how Loki was to put it lightly he was sane some of the time, other moments not so much. If he wasn't staring at nothing, he just kept muttering something under his breath, well, until he'd just start screaming for no reason. When I went in, he looked mad again and kicked me in the face. Then he ran to curl up in a corner and started whimpering."

_'My poor Loki ! Damn it, Thor, I knew he needed me. He did look far saner yesterday than when I visited him. If that stupid girl hadn't been there I could have kissed him. This is her fault.'_

"Well, he could have picked a far better time. He needed me, Loki was his brother and Thor didn't care. If Thor had just asked him for directions instead o-of...taking him along he'd still be alive ! It's not fair."

Sif started murmuring, "Fan-"

Except that he cut her off sharply, " **No** , Sif ! I don't even have to ask, I know you threatened to kill him. Well, I hope you're happy he's dead since he only helped you all for, oh, what was that pesky little number again ? Oh, yes... **nine hundred** and some **years** !"

Angrily, he shouldered past his friends then stomped around debris piles and staring people. As he walked the street changed from cobble-stone to the smooth beige of the palace leading into the gardens. When he felt eyes on him, he looked to the side...and froze. For a moment Loki stood there, regret clear on his face before he vanished.

Heard himself whisper, "I'm going mad."

"It is not mad young Fandral to think so when one you love dies." He startled at Odin's voice and turned to look at his king. Sympathy was in Odin's blue-eye as he continued, "Life-like dreams and visions are merely how we cope. Very rarely do the Norns make mistakes and when they do it whether it truly be's a mistake or not it hurts."

 _'They_ _make_ _**mistakes** _ _? There must be someway to contact the Norns besides going all the way to Nornheim. Maybe I could find a-a ritual o-or something ! Urd would know if he's dead because I don't feel like going to Hel or getting killed to find out myself. There must be something...anything. Didn't Loki have one or two ancient books on the Norns ? Someone did. If only I can find them !'_

With those thoughts in mind and with a brief thank-you to Odin, he rushed toward Loki's chambers.


	11. Books

Fandral was resisting the horrible urge to throw books on the pale-sandstone floor. Up on the wall, in silver, stag-headed sconces, emerald-flames refracted off the yew shelves. One time when he'd asked Loki why he preferred stags to bulls Loki had answered that, "Stags are more graceful. Also, when they fight they have to think or risk losing their antlers. I think they represent me far better than bulls do."

 _'Knowledge something he i-_ _**was** _ _good at. So many shelves and I think I've looked through half of them by now.'_

Head in his hands, he murmured, "Where are they ? Where **are** they ! He told me where he kept them. Arrgh."

Annoyed, he shook himself then walked out of the otherwise dim library chamber into Loki's bedchamber. Unlike Thor's chambers, Loki's were half-darkened by bolts of black silk on the bottom halves of the giant arched-windows. Impulsively, he crawled into the middle of the dark-emerald blanketed bed, laying his head on a pillow. Closed his eyes and tried to remember.

**Flashback**

_'He said he was going to show me where the books were when he woke up. Well, he never said he had to wake up by_ _**himself** _ _.'_

Slightly sore, and knowing Loki would be just as much, he grinned and reached back onto the small table to grab the pearl-white feather. A second later, he dragged the feather's tip over Loki's cheekbone. Deeply asleep or seeming so, Loki's cheek twitched and he murmured, "...Fish..." followed by gibberish.

That made him smother his laughter before he slowly slid the feather over the pale-pink lips, down the pale throat. As he made a few passes over Loki's nipples, he leaned down pressing light kisses against the edges of Loki's mouth. Faint murmurs followed by, " 'Ral." from his love while he sucked on the fuller bottom lip. His breath caught as sleepy, but lustful emerald-eyes fluttered open.

Soft lips moved against his as Loki chuckled, "O my dearest, dashing Fandral." A slight headshake and fingers slowly stroked and rubbed over his ribs. The tease continued, "Are you truly so eager for books that you don't want **me** ?" Pale fingers slid upward over his deftly stealing the feather.

He shivered and moaned at the soft, silky feeling as it trailed agonizingly slowly over his left nipple, down his chest and the side of his hip - all the while Loki pouted seductively. With the building pleasure and pressure in his cock it was hard to answer. "N-no, you were taking too long to wake up."

His breath hissed out as Loki stroked him slowly, mischief joining the lust in those pretty eyes. Hair brushed against his neck as Loki sucked on his pulse.

Loki pulled away with a smirk, "You know what they say about waking horned beasts, love. You wanted that information so badly and now you can pleasurably suffer. Unless, I feel like being nice. Do I ?" Loki pushed him onto his back, smoothly straddling then rutting against him with a deliberately hoarse moan.

The feather fluttered onto his chest as he breathed, "Ye-s." Slowly, he slid his arms around Loki's neck, twining his fingers in the black-hair to pull him down and kiss him deeply.

Through the pleasure haze, it half-relieved and half-frustrated him as Loki suddenly murmured, "Their on the farthest right shelf from the door and on the top left of that."

Instead he huffed, "Later." wrapping his legs around Loki's back.

Another chuckle as Loki stroked his cheek, then, "You do remember the oil is cold."

It made him groan, "So...warm it."

"Of course, love." Loki picked up the bowl from the table's edge, emerald-fire flaring around the bowl before it died. The bowl was slowly put down before Loki dipped his fingers in.

_'Ah, so beautiful, he's all mine and I his.'_

**End Flashback**

With a half-moan, he opened his eyes pushed the memory away and himself upright. It shocked him to see that pearly feather rested on the table as he rolled off the bed. The sight of it had him biting his lip until it hurt, then he forced himself to walk into the library. _'I came here to find the books and by Verdandi I'm going to !'_

When he pulled the first book out it was enormous, bound in blue-leather and embossed with a golden representation of Yggdrasil. Desperate, but forcing himself to be careful he looked through the thin, crackling parchment pages - over runes and illuminated drawings - for a summoning ritual. Nothing...there was **nothing !** His hands shook as he put the book back and took out the second to look through it.

 _'No ! No, no. How can there be nothing ? He's...gone, he's gone. What's the use ? It's useless, useless, useless.'_ He put the book back, agony rushed through him and he started slamming his head on the shelf with a hysterical laugh.

Impossibly Loki's voice, sharp and shocked, echoed through the library, "Fandral, **stop it** , you'll hurt yourself !"

Unconsciously wrapping his arms around himself, he stopped and looked up. Loki ran towards him this time looking heart-breakingly worried before in a blink it turned into Otr. Dimly, he realized that it had really been Otr talking and the golden armour reflected the emerald-fire as the Einherjar stopped beside him.

Otr demanded, "What were you thinking ?!" A hand rested on his cheek as grey-eyes stared at him. Quieter, "Hurting yourself isn't healthy at any time, much less now. Believe me he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

Fingers slid through his hair as he slid to kneel on the floor. He whispered, "I know, Norns, I know, but it hurts. I'm sorry, you lost your mother and yet you're helping me."

Otr pulled his helmet off and joined him on the floor. "She would understand, Fandral."

A few seconds later, he found himself leaning against the brown-haired man. It startled him when Otr started humming a familiar melody.

Sharply, he heard himself bark, "Where did you learn that ?"

Regret in Otr's voice as he answered, "It got stuck in my head a few days ago. I'm sorry."

He felt too drained to get truly angry again and just further slumped against the Einherjar. Saffron enveloped him, mentally he just...drifted and wished.


	12. Dull

Fandral had stayed in the library for a few more hours after Otr had left to resume his duties. That was when a thought sprang into his mind. _'Maybe the Midgardians know something about the Norns, maybe Thor can find something on Midgard.'_

He wanted to be hopeful, but he couldn't quite manage it. Still what might have been some incredibly dulled emotion - excitement ? - flooded him as he got up to ask Odin's permission to go to Midgard. Even with that strange dullness, he barely stopped himself from running through the halls like he, Loki and Thor had done so many years ago. There was another sound hallucination as he approached the palace's inner throne room.

Loki's voice was saying, "You don't see him like I do and I hate this. Why do you make me keep this up ? **Why**?"

Odin replied, "You know why."

A wordless, enraged scream echoed and he resisted the urge to run toward it. After all, why should he bother when Loki wasn't really there, he was in a living nightmare.

Not unkindly Odin rumbled, "Calm yourself." after the scream had faded away.

When he walked into the enormous, golden-walled room it was to see Otr knelt in front of the steps leading up to the throne. Besides himself, only Otr and Odin were in the room. There weren't even any other Einherjar except for at the start of the hallway.

Otr took a deep breath then stated, "My apologies, Sire. You especially know how unfair these times are and, like my own, many tempers have become short of late."

"Consider it forgiven, Einherjar Otr. What are you doing here, Fandral ?"

Slowly, he walked along the dark-red carpet to stop beside Otr. Internally he shook, praying to Skuld that it would happen. He answered, "I wish His Majesty's permission to visit Midgard for a while." as he bowed with his fist over his heart.

Odin raised his eyebrows, shifting the golden-spear Gungnir in his grip. Moments passed before Odin said, "I can not blame you for wishing to escape the brunt of your memories. I assume that you also wish to find Thor for whatever reason ?"

Dull as he felt his fingers clenched as he imagined Thor's running away like a coward. If Thor could turn his back so callously on Asgard why could Thor not have done the same to Loki ? Just abandon Loki to die without any word much less one of thanks.

After he'd shoved it away, he answered, rather emotionlessly. "Yes, Majesty. I wish to find and talk to him, then I want to persuade him to return. I wish him to see the amount of sheer destruction and heartbreak that his actions have caused. Surely, Allfather, you can see the need for that."

 _'To find out if he stayed with Loki and if he did stay, did Loki said anything ? I have to find out. He has to agree with me that he never should have brought Jane here. Everyone would still be alive if he'd just left her_ _**alone** _ _!'_

His gaze drifted to Otr hoping that the Einherjar would agree with him. Otr had to agree ! Instead Otr didn't look at him or speak a word, he just stayed kneeling on the floor, like he was lost in memories.

"Einherjar." At Odin's word he watched Otr startle and nearly jump to his feet.

It almost made him laugh when Otr fumbled over his first words. "Y-yes, S-Sire ? Ahem. What might I do ?"

"Accompany Fandral Sinnson to Midgard and see if you can not help him in his tasks."

The Einherjar straightened his shoulders and chin, grey-eyes proud. "It is my honour to do so, Sire."

Shortly, he and Otr were dismissed, first Otr accompanied him when he went to visit Taufin in the healing room. Rather, that Otr waited outside the room for him as he walked toward the ancient Asgardian who sat in an overstuffed black-leather chair.

As he greeted, "I see you're still stubborn like a bilgesnipe, Elder Taufin." Taufin's clouded eyes roved toward his voice.

The old man's laugh turned into a coughing fit and he gasped, "Aye, still. Is something wrong with the Crown Prince ? Young Thor's not come to visit me, yet."

He walked around the blazing fire-pit to take Taufin's incredibly wrinkled hand. Like he were far away, he watched until Taufin's breathing had steadied. Then he said, "Thor has gone to Midgard for some reason. I intend to find him and ask why."

Long, white-hair glowed in the fire-light before Taufin stated, "I see. Hnn, I think Loki is feeling guilty of something. You'll ask him what it is for me won't you ?"

_'If I see his ghost I'll be sure to ask. At least, I won't have to watch...it would be too much to know for sure that- There must be some knowledge on Midgard of the Norns, rituals, something.'_

Even though it didn't matter, he smiled then reassured, "Of course, Taufin. I'll tell him you said hello as well."

Taufin wished him luck with Thor...with Loki, before he rushed out of the healing room to find clothes that wouldn't look too odd on Midgard. _'I'll get rid of my armour. Hmm, then I'll find that dark-grey, sapphire-accented, long-coat Loki gave me for my seven hundreth birth-day celebration. That should be appropriate.'_


	13. Mad - Part 2

Fandral walked inside and shut the door, passed Loki's cloak and the bookshelves into his bedroom. It had taken him about thirty minutes to get home from the palace. Before he'd left the palace he'd told Otr to go home and find something to wear, that they'd meet at the Bifrost bridge.

He took off his armour and put it on the bed, then walked around the bed. Pushed against the wall was the heavily-carved, yew wardrobe. Though everything wood had carving on it to some extent. Considering that both he and Loki had made it and the bookshelves, the runes were magical to protect everything from damage. Slowly, he opened the wardrobe there was his dark-grey and sapphire long coat and Loki's simpler, black one.

After he'd pulled his coat on over his golden-shirt, refusing the urge to stroke the black long coat's sleeve, he went into the kitchen. When he saw the remenants of the tea he poured himself the last cup, drank it and left locking the door behind him. As he walked he viciously suppressed all the memories that wanted to overwhelm him.

_'Leaving will be good for me. I can get used to the fact that he won't be around. Ha, I can't. It'll only take four hundred years for me to finally stop expecting him.'_

The Bifrost bridge still looked the same the rainbow-energy flowing under the crystal, or whatever it was, would still leave a trail of sunburst yellow after stepping on it. With nothing else to do he paced along the bridge's start. Sometime later, he looked up as footsteps approached it was Otr, of course.

Said Einherjar wore a dark-brown shirt, black-cotton pants and a pair of soft, black-leather boots. Otr stopped in front of him as the still loose, shoulder-length hair swayed in the breeze. Otr twitched a hand to encompass himself and asked, "Will this do ?"

"It should be fine."

_'It looks...nice. **Traitor !** Not two days since he's died and you're noticing others already.'_

Feeling faintly angry and guilty, he quickly turned and started down the bridge. Finally, a memory came that he couldn't ignore - the first time he, Loki and Thor had met Heimdall together.

**Flashback**

It was nice to see Asgard again, Nornheim had far too many rocks. All the regular magic-using norns were boring and he'd wanted to go home weeks ago. Father chuckled, "Go on, doubtless Their Princeships will be waiting."

Carefully, he edged around Heimdall trying not to make a sound. Heimdall was very scary in his eight years old mind, he'd never seen Heimdall anywhere else, but here. It was like Heimdall wasn't even an actual person, the man just stood there day after day after day and it scared him. When he'd made his way out, he started down the bridge. At the half-way point he squawked as Loki and Thor barrelled into him knocking him on his back.

Loki beamed down at him and murmured, "Hello, Fandral."

His breath whooshed out as Thor punched him in the chest and exclaimed, "You're back !"

Loki's lips pursed, the emerald-eyes flicked to glare at Thor. Loki scolded, "You're not supposed to hit your friends, Thor ! That's what Mother said."

"Well, Mother never said anything about you, brother."

That led to Thor tackling Loki off him near the bridge's edge, he pushed himself up as the two princes tussled.

"Their Majesties should show more decorum. What if the Princess of Alfheim had followed young Fandral ?"

Thor, Loki and himself all gasped and twisted to look up at Heimdall's words. The watcher was looking down at Loki and Thor mostly passively, but also with an air of slight disapproval.

Loki replied, "She merely would have seen me trying to protect Fandral, good Heimdall." as Thor got up.

Heimdall nodded briefly and then disappeared back towards the observatory. Thor helped Loki up with great sighs of relief they all looked at each other. Seconds later, they rushed towards the city the terror of Heimdall forgotten already.

**End Flashback**

Otr asked, "Are you feeling sick again, Fandral ?" startling him out of his memory.

For a second, he just blinked at the wavy, brown-haired man. "Oh, no, no, I am fine. I was just...remembering something. Do you think the Midgardians could have some information on the Norns ?"

Disbelief in grey-eyes and Otr laughed shortly. "If we don't have the information that you want, Fandral, what makes you think that **they** will ?"

They were nearing the observatory as his eyebrows furrowed. Flatly, he stated, "You don't think highly of them."

A brief headshake before Otr growled, "I have seen sides of them that sicken me to my core. Even if you stop them from raping one person the animals just move onto another then another. It's a disgusting flood that **never ends !** " That point emphasized by Otr striking his palms together sharply. "The other Midgardians even let the victims blame **themselves** ! Doesn't that anger you ?"

He nodded, agreeing, "Of course, it's horrible, one of the worst things that I could ever dream of. It's just, Otr, it is not our place to watch over them all the time. Mostly they manage to keep themselves safe or help each other through it."

While Otr looked faintly annoyed, but amicable they entered the Bifrost chamber. Heimdall eyed Otr like he wanted to say something, but held his tongue and simply opened the Bifrost. There was a faint unease crawling over him, despite his asking, part of him didn't want to leave all the memories of Loki behind. _'We're going to Midgard, this is good, it is. We need answers that only Thor can give. It's what Loki would do for me if our places had switched.'_


	14. Remember

Before the Bifrost had half-disappeared Fandral and Otr were already buffeted by the wind which drove hail-like ice-cold rain into their eyes. _'How in Hel are we supposed to see anything ? It's impossible !'_

With an arm shielding his face, he squinted as he walked forward. On the farthest edges he could just see some trees, through the rain's silver curtain twenty feet ahead of them was a dim, white-shape. Otr grabbed his shoulder and started pulling him along, they slipped on the grass and he cut his lip on a rock as he landed.

Over the roar of the rain he heard Otr shout, "Come on, it's not that far !"

Half-blinded and disoriented by the rain, he stumbled upright as Otr took his hand. Again, they started toward the shape, the closer they got it slowly turned into a very old-looking, white summerhouse. Just as they almost crashed into a wall the storm suddenly stopped, the clouds ripped apart to reveal dusk on the forested horizon.

He gasped, "That...was definitely...Thor." while Otr let go of him to knock on the door. Quickly, he wiped his face/lip and threaded his hands through his hair, before he shook out his long coat. As a lord's son he had to look as presentable as possible, after all.

About a minute later Jane opened the mahogany door to stare at them, confused, before she recognized him. The Midgardian looked as if she hadn't slept. Jane was paler, the skin around her eyes had darkened, her brown-hair slightly lank and her clothes - a dark-sweater and a pair of strangely patterned, blue-pants - had become rumpled.

She blurted, "Fandral, oh, thank God ! You have to do something about Thor, he didn't sleep at all last night. When he did fall asleep, he woke up screaming and crying this afternoon. Who are you ?"

_'Well, that doesn't sound like Thor, but then again, I didn't go to the palace the first time so it could be. Jane's question certainly isn't going to help Otr's perception of Midgardians.'_

Otr, who'd been wringing out his hair, glared at Jane for her rudeness. The Einherjar drew himself up proudly and tersely responded, "Einherjar Otr Svenson. My Lady is whom ?"

"Otr ? Like...the animal ?"

"How droll. As if I haven't heard that exactly two thousand times before."

It made him flinch, that was the kind of thing he could picture Loki saying with the exact same phrasing and inflection on, "That." When he thought it, he could hear Loki doing just that with uncanny accuracy.

Jane also flinched, "I'm sorry, uh, Einherjar Svenson. I'm Jane Foster, you're not here to arrest Thor are you ?"

Otr was back to being terse and newly monosyllabic, "No."

Jane invited them inside, the walls and floor were yew, the entrance opened into a main room that was almost blocked by a black-leather couch. After he took off his own boots and hung his still slightly dripping, long coat beside Thor's cape and Mjolnir, he followed Jane and Otr into the main room. When they walked around the couch it was to see Thor sat in front of an unlit fire-place with his head in his hands. In the last years he'd never seen Thor look so gloomy, except for the first time Loki had 'died'.

_'How can we remember their lives when it's too painful to remember that their gone ? It's easy to remember someone that you barely know, but it's so much harder when it's someone you love personally for whatever reason. Loki would be happy, at least, that old Taufin is still alive. It's a shame that Taufin's mind is finally fading after all that he's been through.'_

Slowly, he walked to crouch in front of the slightly older blond who didn't look up.

Jane whispered, "Can he really renounce his title of Crown Prince, Einherjar Svenson ? That's what he's claiming he did yesterday before he came here."

"Are you daft ? Of course, he could and he **did** ! It hadn't happened in over **ten thousand** years until yesterday. It will take many years before everyone gets used to his not being Crown Prince or Prince Thor. Except Fandral and I to still do so out of habit."

As they were talking, hesitantly he reached out to touch Thor's shoulder. Thor suddenly said, "It should have belonged to Loki. He understood everything and I didn't have a clue, except when he helped me. How could I be Crown Prince when I couldn't even save my own brother ? I failed Mother and Loki both when they needed me most. So, Fandral, how could I ever have managed to defend Asgard as its King ?"

Seconds passed as Thor continued, "Do you remember when we were two hundred-"

"And Loki woke those bilgesnipes. Of course, that was the day you swore to protect him."

**Flashback**

He found himself pushed face-first into the melting snow/slush as Loki landed on top of him. Loki panted, "Bilgesnipes...they're...following me."

Spitting out snow, he raised his head and asked, "What did you do ?"

While Loki rolled off him, the prince replied indignantly, "I didn't **do** anything, but fall down a river bank...into a bilgesnipe...then I stabbed it by **accident**. Now, it's chasing me, they are all chasing me."

Thor who stood on the edge of the cliff looking out at the night-sky, which now filled with lightning and thunder, turned to look at them. Thor unhooked Mjolnir and laughed, "You never have had the best luck, Loki."

Ten feet away as he got up, there was the sound of two, seven-feet tall, currently grey, white and brown-scaled and furred, bilgesnipes bellowing. Loki unsheathed one of his throwing-knives as he unsheathed his foil and turned.

The bilgesnipes twelve-tined, stag-like, antlers glowed in the moonlight as they lowered their heads and charged. Of course, Thor threw Mjolnir then raced to meet the hammer as it slammed into the right-side bilgesnipe's head snapping off an antler.

As Thor was doing that, he and Loki half-circled towards the left one. A horridly strong stench of wet mulch, fur and decaying animal corpses overwhelmed them - which was weak compared to how strong it was in summer - as Loki threw his knife.

Said throwing-knife buried itself in the bilgesnipe's chest near its left-front leg. It crashed down with another bellow two feet from them. Its great, brown-eyes stared at them before maddened with pain it lurched to its feet, he threw himself to the side and, though he'd been taught not too, swiped his sword along its flank as it passed. Hot blood spurted over him, while the other bilgesnipe was struck by lightning before it went crashing over the cliff's edge. Loki had lured the remaining bilgesnipe back into the forest and away from them. Moonlight made him realize as Loki emerged from the forest that there was blood matting the side of Loki's head.

It seemed like Thor realized it as well prompting him to say, "You need protection from these things, Loki. I swear that from here on I will protect you **no matter what** , little brother."

Meanwhile, he was resisting the urge to go check Loki's head. Partly for fear of making the injury worse and partly because he wanted an excuse to stroke the pretty, chin-length black-hair. So, that was when Loki passed out.

**End Flashback**

He caught Thor's hands as the ex-Crown Prince went to hit himself. Really, he didn't know what to say, but he had to try something. "Thor, did you or did you not kill Malekith ?"

Thor nodded and half-raised his head to say waveringly, "I did...t-the ship helped." Blue-eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, like Jane he looked paler too.

"Do you know who ordered the Dark Elves to kill Frigga and Loki ?"

"Malekith. You should have been there, Fandral, you could have said good-bye then. If he could have he would have said he loved you. I **never** should have kept you away from him ! I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking when I did that. Over all, I never should have taken him with us. I should have just sent you to ask him, it's my fault he's dead and you should hate me."

_'He actually thinks I...wow. How could I hate him before ? Easy, you wanted someone to blame and Thor was it. You don't realize how easy it is to hate someone until their actions make it that easy, love. Just look at me, well, you know what I mean - I hated Odin and Thor too. For a while, I even wanted them dead, it didn't do me any good nor you.'_

Uncomfortably, he admitted, "I did hate you and this morning I still wanted to kill you. Loki wouldn't have wanted me too and Otr didn't either."

Thor almost looked relieved at his first words. Footsteps echoed across the floor as Otr approached then asked, "Thor ?"

Before he figured out what was going on, he ended up pushed against the fire-place as Thor let go and lunged up to crush Otr in a hug.

_'Well, I suppose as long as it has pale-skin and just over shoulder-length, wavy-hair Thor doesn't really care who it is. It doesn't help that Loki and Otr are both on the lither side and with those black-pants and boots they do look faintly similiar.'_

From what he'd seen of Otr he half-expected the Einherjar to push Thor away, but he didn't. In fact, Otr actually hugged Thor back and for some reason it made him smile. A few feet away, Jane's lips quirked slightly.


	15. Succession

Fandral pulled himself up using the fire-place as a balance, the floor was slightly slippery from his dripping on it. In fact, there was a small trail of water where he had walked. A last fading ray of sunlight flashed through the middle-sized window in the close wall onto the kitchen and another hallway. Thor moved away from Otr and Otr introduced himself to Thor.

Jane asked, "Thor, why did Odin let you leave since Loki's dead ? Without you there's no succession."

Thor shrugged and replied, "Perhaps Father wanted to let me grieve, perhaps he wasn't thinking clearly. Father had started to change his mind about banishing Loki to the dungeons forever. Father did want to apologize, though it won't matter now. There are still my sons Modi and Magni for the succession."

_'Modi and Magni ? Since when has Thor had sons ? He got angry at Loki and I for not telling him about us and yet he doesn't mention that he has sons. So much for his always been truthful since he just lied by omission.'_

He shook his head, walked up to Thor and exclaimed. "So, you get to be a hypocrite for not telling Loki and I !? If you had just told Odin about them he could have summoned one of them to become the new Crown Prince. Most of Asgard will be furious when they find out you've abandoned them and there's no heir apparent. Who birthed Modi and Magni ? Don't you think Loki would have wanted to meet his nephews, much less Frigga her grandsons ?"

Slowly, Thor scratched at his beard before turning to look at him, then at Jane. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jane look shocked and betrayed before she spun and ran out of the house.

Thor stated, "Modi and Magni are half-Midgardian and they are only three hundred years old. Considering that Loki didn't trust the Midgardians I didn't know how he would feel about them, so I hid them from him, from everyone, but the Midgardians. They should be arriving soon. I'm going to talk to Jane."

With that said, Thor disappeared outside and he stared at Otr. Found himself saying, "Can you believe that, Otr ? Yes, like on the skiff Loki would have approved, but then he would have skinned Thor's balls for it."

His last words made Otr burst into laughter. "That would've been quite the sight to see. Hnn, Fandral, your lip is bleeding again."

Confused, he murmured, "Oh ?" before brushing a finger against his lip, it indeed came away with some blood on it. "Do you think there's a bathing chamber somewhere near-by ?"

Otr nodded and then gesturing turned down the new hallway. There were a few tiny bedrooms and an even tinier bathing chamber at the end of the hall. As they walked into said chamber he stared at everything it was far different from the rest of the house. It was newer or was it older in that it had chipping, white tiles on the floor and walls. A white-clay basin sat in the counter, along with some oddly shaped thing beside it and then a bigger, six-foot white-clay tub a few feet away. Otr walked in, then opened a yew cabinet with a mirror on it above the small basin there were a few random Midgardian things, but no cloths. As he spotted another cabinet on the bottom, he crouched and opened it to find a few rough, dark-blue washing-cloths then pulled one out.

Then he wondered where the water was as he got up. _'There's no pitcher, I didn't see a pump, stream or brook outside. So, where's the water ?'_

Seemingly, Otr was pondering the same thing. The Einherjar muttered, "Margaret Carter, the girl I saved from those rapists she called this thing, oh, what ever did she call it ?" Otr waved a hand over the small basin and the metal spout that attached to it. "Ah-ha, a sink ! There should be some little taps somewhere."

It made him chuckle as he spotted the little crystal-taps farther back on the spout. "I found them, Otr." Not knowing which one, he just turned the one with the little red circle on it. When nothing happened Otr slammed a fist on the spout, seconds later, water poured out. Briefly, he smiled at Otr before he dipped the cloth under said water which steamed slightly.

In the mirror, he looked at his lip and started dabbing at it. _'This should heal sometime tonight.'_ The cloth tasted and smelled stale as if it had sat for a long time. _'Perhaps this is actually Jane Foster's parents summerhouse or that Erik Selvig's ? It would explain the condition of this compared to the other parts if they were rebuilding it slowly and this was the last room.'_

When his lip had stopped bleeding, he met Otr's slightly darker-grey eyes in the mirror. He asked, "Do you know what happened to Margaret Carter after you saved her, Otr ?" as he wrung out and folded the cloth, then put it on the counter.

A brief headshake, then Otr answered, "No. After a brief time, I went back to Margaret's parents house and someone else was living there. I searched all over London and never found her. I almost wonder if those animals found Margaret and killed her in revenge. It would explain why her parents left the house to someone else. Though, if that's true it's quite a shame that one of the only decent Midgardians is dead."

He bit his lip for a second, contemplating a reply. "Maybe Jane Foster could help find her if Margaret still lives ? You know there have to be more good Midgardians. Take Magni and Modi their half-Midgardians and they probably wouldn't dream of doing a horrid thing like that if Thor raised them right."

Otr shrugged and snorted elegantly. "Magni and Modi are still half-Asgardian they don't count. I suppose I could ask Jane Foster for her help."

That was when a booming knock echoed through the house, slowly he and Otr left the bathing chamber. _'That must be Magni and Modi. I wonder what they look like.'_


	16. Outrage

By the time Fandral and Otr reached the door, the Thorsons had already entered. Magni and Modi were twins and probably strong as living mountains. Both had curly, shoulder-length, dark-red hair and chest-length beards, dark-blue eyes and brown-skin. One was clad in a short-sleeved, grey-shirt and pants like Jane's while the other also wore the same pants, but with a black-shirt.

A simultaneous, "Uncle Fandral !" before he was engulfed in a nearly bone-crushing hug. _'Okay, so, Thor told them about me. Did he tell them about the others too ?'_

When he was released and had backed away slightly, one of the twins asked, "Where's Uncle Loki ? Father said you're always with him."

Helpless, he looked between them, "Well, uh, Magni, Modi ? Ah, first off, I suppose I should ask which of you is which ?"

The one in the black-shirt volunteered, "I'm Magni, that's Modi." while punching Modi in the shoulder.

Slowly, he nodded and continued, "Your Uncle Loki was killed by Dark Elves yesterday."

He expected incredibly loud, outraged, yelling and swearing or if they had Thor's powers a lightning bolt or a gust of wind, something big. Not for Modi and Magni to just stare at each other in silent disbelief.

Modi whispered, "How ? Uncle Loki's like the smartest person ever besides Grandfather and Grandmother according to Father."

Thor and Jane suddenly appeared in the still open doorway, Jane after closing the door and turning back looked far calmer than before.

A second of silence before Thor answered, "He saved me from that Kursed Dark Elf by impaling it. T-that **thing** turned around and pulled Loki onto the sword or whatever it was too. After pulling himself free, he finished killing that Dark Elf with one of its own grenades. Doing so Loki also avenged our mother at the cost of his own life."

Magni blustered, " **What !** Grandmother's dead too ? What about Grandfather ?" as he spun on his heel.

"Yes, your grandmother is dead, but the last I saw my father was still alive. Unless, that has changed, Fandral ?"

He shook his head, "No, he's still alive, but Elder Taufin nearly died this morning. You need to come back Thor. You have to see what happened, at least, come to see Taufin. Modi and Magni can meet Odin for the first time."

Jane looked confused and wondered, "Who's Taufin ?"

It was Modi who explained about Taufin before asking Thor if he and Magni could go to Asgard. Thor tilted his head and thought for a bit, then said. "You may as well, I have kept it from you too long as I did the rest of our family. Are you going to return as well Jane ?"

"Odin called me a goat, Thor, have you forgotten that ? I'm staying here !" As Jane finished speaking, she half-glared at Thor.

Otr chuckled, "Perfect, then perhaps you could help me with something Jane Foster."

For some reason, Otr saying Jane's name made her made jump up and down in frustration. " **Arrgh !** My name is Jane, Jane, Jane ! Not Jane Foster, it is just Jane ! Otherwise, I'd love to help if I can Otr."

Amused, he turned to look at Otr who grinned, "I was wondering if you could help me find a girl - Margaret Carter. Well, I suppose she would be far older now as it was in the time you Midgardians called the Great Depression when I saved her. Does that help you...Just Jane ?"

As everyone, but her laughed, Jane growled, "You're all **insufferable**!" while pulling at her hair before Thor stopped her. "We can start looking tomorrow if we go into London, it'll take a few hours though, unless we can use the Bifrost."

Modi brushed past him and Otr to vault over the couch and land on it with a yawn. Magni stretched, then murmured, "One thing about being half-human you get tired a lot faster than Father, but still less so than a human."

Magni followed Modi to shove Modi off the couch, unsurprisingly, considering Thor was their father, it turned a fight over the couch. With a flash of silver-blue light Magni suddenly thudded onto the floor at Otr's feet.

Modi stated, "You keep coming, I keep teleporting you away, brother. It's my couch !"

_'Modi just willed Magni to a different location ! Loki could do that, yes, but that's not one of Thor's powers. Unless, Modi and Magni's Mother herself had magic this, ah, teleporting and such. Do they even have Thor's weather magic ? Hmm, ah.'_

A leanly muscled arm wrapped around his waist, before Otr said in an even softer voice than normal, "You look tired. Mayhaps you should go to bed as well, Fandral."

_'I can ask them about their powers tomorrow morning. Mmm.'_

Really, he must have been far more tired than he thought because he barely remembered going around Magni, down the bathing-chamber hallway and half-stumbling/being turned by Otr into the second bedroom. Moonlight silvered an old, worn, but comfortable-looking, light-purple quilt. Dimly, he remembered laying down before Otr whispered, "Good-night." then he fell asleep and into a dream.


	17. Origin

Fandral waded out of the water, up the grass and rock covered bank to throw himself on Loki. A faint grunt in response as he landed on Loki's outstretched, dark-green/black-clad legs before trailing a wet hand up the pale-skinned side. Slowly, Loki half-lowered his personal copy of The Tale of the Prince and the Shapeshifter to raise both eyebrows then peer down him.

Loki hummed, "Yes, love ?"

For a moment, he stared in wordless amazement. His being temporarily tongue-tied elicited a smile from his love.

"Do something, anything."

A mock-scowl and Loki murmured, "Something."

Between fits of laughter he managed to smack the black-haired man. "Y-you..."

In response, Loki grinned and wondered, "Me, what ?"

He pulled himself up before wrapping his arms around Loki's neck to rest his head on the bare shoulder. It made him chuckle as he brushed his lips against Loki's ear. Then he hummed, "What a pretty, tricky, lissome thing you are Loki. Hmm, were beauty a feat not one could surpass you."

More than a little disbelief was in Loki's tone, "Not one ? Are you sure ?"

One of Loki's hands rhythmically stroked over his shoulder and down his back. After he'd nearly fallen asleep, he murmured, "Of course, I am."

That was when he woke up. For a moment, before he opened his eyes, he expected Loki to be there. Wistfully, he imagined one of Loki's softly chuckled, "Wake-up, Handsome."'s in his ear.

Of course, when he opened his eyes Loki wasn't there. After the imagined words faded, he rubbed his eyes, then got up with a yawn before he walked to open the bedroom door. _'As Jane is going to help Otr, perhaps she could help me find something on the Norns as well.'_

When he wandered down the hallway into the tiny kitchen everyone else was already up. Thor, Modi, Magni and Jane sat at the table, while Otr sat at the tiny counter.

Otr wondered, "Thor, how exactly did Magni and Modi come about ? Fandral must be wondering it as well, or no ?"

It startled him that Otr had noticed him as he'd barely walked in. After everyone greeted him and he'd returned it, he walked to sit beside Otr on a stool. He started eating some of the food that Otr had pushed towards him after he answered. "I was wondering about that yes. So, how did the Sons of Thunder come about ?"

_'Did Loki have any sons or daughters before he and I started courting ? I mean, he, Thor and I did get incredibly drunk sometimes. Enough that I don't remember some of it, so anything could be possible.'_

Thor scratched at his beard and started off. "It was after yourself and Loki had gone to Paris, Fandral, that I left for Norway. I ended up spotting a brown-skinned woman being attacked by bandits one of them had stabbed her with a knife. I lit the bandits on fire with lightning and landed near her. She was dressed strangely in a long, red, pink and gold silk-robe and had an odd ruby-dot on her forehead. She panicked even after I explained what I was going to do, took out a healing-stone and pulled the knife from her chest to heal her. She said that her name was Shakti or 'Power' and she was half-British. Shakti said that she panicked when her betrothed found out and went to attack her. So, as she could will herself to go anywhere, she wanted to go somewhere very, very far away and did...right into the hands of the bandits. Shakti was very grateful to me for saving her as she did not know how to summon her God of Healing. She said that if sons came about she wanted to name them after me and daughters herself. I told her that I liked Modi as it meant 'Wrath' and Magni or 'Strength' so that they could protect themselves without either of us."

That was when Magni chuckled and elbowed Modi in the ribs. "You're Wrath and you've got Father's lightning magic and yet you're more gentle than I am. You disgrace our father, Modi."

As Otr stole a red-skinned apple off his plate, he absorbed the information the twins skin being brown made sense now. The apple he suddenly noticed was a few shades brighter than Modi and Magni's hair.

_'Thor's Grandmother had red-hair and so did Queen Frigga's sister have red-hair. Did Shakti's Father have red-hair and blue-eyes as well ? Shakti could teleport, so can Modi. Does Magni some of Shakti's magic too ? Modi has lightning, so does Magni have Thor's wind then ?'_

When he asked such it was Magni who said, "Nope. I've got rain magic, Uncle Fandral and we think that Mother might've been half- or part-elf because I've got light magic too. I can make it brighter or darker so I can hide things and people or reveal them."

_'I wonder would Magni have been able to see through one of Loki's illusions then ? After all, Loki's illusions were in the mind and not through the eye. It would have been interesting to find out. Ah, I should ask Jane if I can accompany her and Otr.'_

Fandral looked up from his plate at Jane to ask, "Jane, might I go with yourself and Otr to London ? I wish to look for books on summoning the Norns."

Jane raised her eyebrows at him, then she repeated, "Summoning the Norns ? Of course, I don't see why not. You think it's going to help you accept Loki's death ?"

Otr let out an involuntary, indeed even otter-like, bark of laughter. "Accept it ? No, Jane, he wants to find out if they made a mistake. I still don't get how he thinks your **Midgardian** library can help in that matter because Asgard's couldn't. How are we going to get to the library with enough time for us all to look around ? We have to drive there, find the time to eat and do everything else."

_'Hopefully, Modi and Magni have helped him see the Midgardians are better than he thinks. At least, if Margaret Carter is still alive Otr may start to calm down because he was wrong.'_

Modi boasted, "I'll take you there, you'll have plenty of time then. If you find anything about Margaret you can call Heimdall and I'll take you to wherever she is."

Otr, who'd gone back to eating the apple, looked flabbergasted by Modi's offer. The brown-haired Einherjar licked his bottom-lip clean of juice before thanking Modi and accepting his offer. He, Otr and Jane gathered around Modi, who'd stood from the table, a few minutes later. They linked hands, then disappeared in a burst of silver-blue light.


	18. Sprig

Fandral sighed as he looked up at the dark-wooded shelves filled with hundreds of books. Sunlight filtered in from high-windows set in the strange, dark materialled walls. Perhaps an hour or two had passed since Modi had left himself, Otr and Jane in front of this gray-bricked library.

At first, he'd wanted to see what a 'computer' was so he'd followed his two brown-haired friends. The computer looked like a flat, more colorful crystal-projection, but it was disorienting how fast the images changed. So, he'd gone and started looking for books on summoning the Norns, unsuccessfully.

_'Rragh, at least, in the library, at home...Loki's chambers I know where the books I want are. Here I don't have a clue. For unhelpful Urd's sake, why can that woman not leave me alone ?'_

For the last thirty minutes, a brown-haired woman who looked rather like Volstagg, with his five foot some-ish height and girth-covered muscle, had followed him. Now, she walked up to him and asked, "What're you looking for ?"

"A book on summoning the Norns."

She gave him a disbelieving look and repeated, "Norns ? Why norns ?"

Fandral shook his head and said gently, "Not regular norns, **the** Norns - Urd, Verdandi and Skuld. I need to ask Urd something."

The Midgardian's hand rested on his arm as she attempted to flirtatiously murmur. "I've got something for Verdandi, maybe we could...help...each other."

_'Even were I attracted to women that phrase would not work on me.'_

His eyes slid shut as the scent of crisp pages, saffron and something faintly icy surrounded him. Bit his lip and forced down the urge to say, "Loki."

That scent faded to simple, spicy-sweet saffron as an arm wrapped around his waist. Otr pressed lightly against his back and answered the woman in a friendly tone. "He does not need it."

She raised her eyebrows and scoffed, "Who're you ? His boyfriend ? He could do better than you."

That made Otr move away from him reaching for a sword that wasn't be there. The Einherjar's tone turned cold and authoritative, "It matters not, but I am more to him than you will ever be. Now. Leave."

Another derisive scoff, but the woman quickly backed away from them. Otr turned to him, darker grey eyes meeting his then flicking up. "I think I might have found your book." Brown-hair fluttered as Otr moved around him and jumped to grab the top of the shelf ten feet up. When Otr dropped down he held a thick, soft-grey leather bound volume in one hand.

He yelped because when Otr handed it to him the book shocked him. Still, he didn't care, he started flipping through it. Excitement filled him and his hands shook as a page caught his eye - "A sprig of evergreen and a cherished memory for Urd to know. Give to Verdandi an ash branch with a gift's great meaning. Lastly, it is for sprigs of yew and thyme and a tossed coin that Skuld appears. For Past, Present and Debt know all, but in circled yew alone will tell all that which one wishes."

_'Haha, yes, yes, this is it ! Oh thank Skuld, I can finally find out if it was a mistake. Why do the Midgardians have it ? How can they have something that we don't ? Did someone steal it and put it on Midgard so that one of them could find it ? Again, I've been forgetting Otr. We only came here because of him.'_

For a moment, he studied and memorized the page then carefully closed the book. After he put the book away, scratched his goatee then looked at Otr. Otr his head tilted and eyebrows slightly raised, blinked back at him. It was such a Loki-like gesture that it hurt. Fandral forced himself to ignore that gesture and ask, "Did you find anything on Margaret Carter, Otr ? Does she still live ?"

The question made Otr smile before replying, "Yes, she does." Otr's smile faded and he turned serious, "She is in a healing room in the...Jane called it the District of Columbia whatever that is. Jane does not think that Margaret Carter will live much longer. Would you want to accompany me on my visit, Fandral ?"

_'She could die ? How ? It's so soon ! Margaret Carter cannot be more than eighty-some years of age, perhaps more. She's so young. Mother and Father would say that she is far, far too young to die.'_

"Of course, I will, Otr. I haven't asked any thing of how you are handling your mother's death, but I can do this."

So, he followed Otr out of the library where Modi waited in an alley. The big, brown-skinned half-Midgardian chuckled, "Lordling Sinnson, Einherjar Vassson meet the wrathfully thundering Prince of Asgard. Everyone who doesn't like ? Teleported into the vass."

 _'Otr's Father was named 'Water' ? Was it simple association ?_ _Was his grandfather named for an animal ? Was Otr's Grandfather Voss for 'Fox' ? I need to stop wondering things for sprigs.'_

Modi's flippancy made him laugh. "Hail the Prince and don't trip on the voss with the pox laying in the moss."

_'Hey, that wasn't half-bad. Look, Loki, I'm getting better !'_

It also made Otr smile. "It would have to be a tricky fox to risk His Majesty's wrath."

Seconds later, Modi had teleported them to a hallway outside a white-walled room's closed door. Modi whispered, "Good-luck." before going back to Asgard.

Now, Otr looked slightly nervous his eyes flicking over the floor to him and back. Loki's scent surrounded him again and he put a hand on the Einherjar's shoulder, hoping it would reassure the man. He'd let Otr go in first then enter the healing room himself.


	19. Margaret

Fandral rubbed at his eyes as an illusion of Loki glided through the opened door and into the healing room with easy grace. Otr stopped in the middle of the room to give a half-angry/half-confused exclamation of, "You !? What are you doing here ?"

Interested now, he followed Otr into the room and stopped beside the Einherjar. The short blond-haired Midgardian, who sat at the greying-haired woman's bedside, looked up.

Seconds of scrutiny later, the Midgardian's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "I'm...sorry, have we met before ? I don't recognize you."

That had Otr breaking into a fit of undignified giggles, "It's been awhile since we met, Captain."

_'Captain ? That Midgardian with the shield that Thor went on about ? Humpf, he goes on about Captain Rogers and I couldn't even visit Loki without being nagged. Thor was a stupid hag, at least, since then he's gotten taken down a peg.'_

Captain Rogers kept an eye on Otr as he made his way to Margaret Carter's bedside to take her hand. He wandered up to the foot of the white-night gown clad woman's bed, his gaze darting between the three.

A faint grin made it's way onto Otr's face and he said, "It's good to finally find you again, dear Margaret. You had me quite worried that something had happened to you."

It almost made him want to laugh when Captain Rogers looked about to object to...something about Otr's statement. Likely, the Midgardian wanted to ask how the two knew each other.

_'That means he doesn't know that Margaret Carter was almost raped.'_

Margaret Carter's brown-eyes focused on Otr before she blurted, " **Otr** ? Where's Loki ? You both left before I could say good-bye."

He'd been smoothing his long coat and stopped at her last question. _'A very sporadic aquaintanceship then since Loki helped Otr save her. He probably scared them with a near-miss knife-throw so that Otr could get her away. That, or he used an illusion to confuse them while helping to knock them out.'_

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Captain Rogers mouth, "Otter...the animal ? Here, I thought Thor's name was odd."

When Margaret Carter said Loki's name Captain Rogers tensed. "Loki ? He's crazy. How do **you** know **Loki** , Peggy ?"

Like with Sif, again, Fandral got angry and hissed. "It **wasn't** his fault that he went mad ! Have some respect Loki died helping Thor to save you from Algrim and thus Malekith two days ago."

"Oh, erm...uh, what's your name ?"

"Fandral Sinnson."

"Look, Fandral, it's just we met him in **very** different circumstances. You knew him a long, long time before his whole try to take over the Earth stint. So, you're truly emotional that he's dead. Yet, that's the only way I ever saw him - right after he'd killed who knows how many people, brainwashed some of my friends and then tried to take over the world. So, I'm sorry, Fandral and I don't want to offend you or him but, I'm really not sorry that Loki's dead."

As he started pacing back and forth from door to bed, the news made Margaret Carter's hand tense under Otr's and the woman's face turned sad. It amazed him that someone so young could care that much having only met Loki once, even though Loki had helped save her. Anger disappearing, he wondered if Margaret Carter's reaction could change Otr's view. The Einherjar had let go of Margaret Carter and turned away.

_'Is he wondering if his mother looked the same before that Dark Elf killed her ? I know Mother would have if she thought she'd never see Father or myself again. Maybe Otr could come with me to the summoning ritual. Would he have to bring his own evergreen, ash, yew, thyme and coin or could we share ?'_

Margaret Carter replied, "They saved me when Billy and his boys tried to rape me. Billy probably would've killed me if Otr **and** Loki hadn't shown up, Steve." before the woman's eyes clouded and her focus drifted into a middle-distance.

A new female voice asked from the door, "Who are you two ? I don't remember seeing you come in."

Yet another Loki-like gesture as Otr's right hand twitched while the Einherjar walked toward the curly-haired, dark-skinned woman.

Again, it wasn't his imagination to hear Loki's voice say, "Us ? Oh, we're no one in particular. My dear woman, you look so tired that it's no wonder you didn't see us come in. I think it might best suit you to sit down and rest your eyes for a few precious moments, hmm ?"

It was too easy to imagine the big, green-eyes making that cajoling tone even harder to resist. Except, then he was resisting the urge to lay on the floor and sob the heartache and the tightness in his chest away.

The pale-green clad woman, who indeed looked tired, blinked, suddenly struggling to stay awake. With a faint nod, the woman turned before shuffling out of the room.

He brightened and his lips twitched into a brief smile as a thought entered his mind. _'If Loki had known of Modi and Magni and they weren't sleeping he would've gotten them easily. When he didn't want people awake, it was almost too easy to put them to sleep. Even if he's not the one doing it, that silver-tongue still works one kind of magic.'_

Captain Rogers, meanwhile, was quietly, but passionately exclaiming over Otr's impression of Loki. Otr just laughed at Captain's outrage. "Are you really so arrogant, Captain, as to believe that he was really all that bad ? Surely, exiled Crown Prince Thor told you something of how he was ?"

Something about Otr's questions made Captain Rogers grimace. Otr turned and walked back to Margaret Carter's bedside. Restless, rubbing his arms, he wandered out of the room to sit on the floor.

_'There's a ring of yew trees in Asgard on one of the mountains. We found it during that camping trip. What am I going to use ? There's far too many things - my long coat, the cloak-box, that little rabbit carving I said I wanted - a thousand things. So many memories, so many years...so many apples, and it still wasn't enough. I want an apple.'_

"Hey, are you all right ? You look down."

The cheery words startled him into looking up into the face of a young, blond-haired woman who had crouched in front of him. She wore a brown long coat and held a paper-cup with steam rising from it.

Fandral answered, "Oh, yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine, Lady... ?"

The woman smiled and answered, "Call me Andy and take this."

Andy held out the cup and something in her warm, brown-eyes made him reach out to accept it. Before he could thank her, Andy chirped, "See you later." and glided down the hall.

Slowly, he stared after Andy wondering if it had been his fate to meet a Norn today or someone who seemed one. Contemplative, he took a sip of the drink and raised his eyebrows it was hot apple cider. _'Truly, could that have been Verdandi ? I thought the Norns were Jotnar. As the most powerful beings in all the Nine Realms surely they could manage an illusion as well. Hmm, things to think about.'_


End file.
